I've always been amazed at how much dedication people have for certain things. Whether it is fighting poverty in Appalachia, defending human rights in repressive lands, obsessively rooting for a team, planning parties, or simple participation in a church, there is always someone deeply involved. I'm not amazed at what they are dedicated to, just the dedication itself.
My amazement at this dedication stems from my own self-consciousness. Ironically, I think it also has a correlation to my previously stated issues with bumper stickers. Though I didn't exactly get deep into an explanation, a large (and perhaps silly) issue I have with bumper stickers is the perception it creates in others. I don't mean the perception having bumper stickers creates, but the statements they make. Perhaps it is ridiculous, but I feel that having a bumper sticker inadequately defines me as a person. And that people would incorrectly reach assumptions about me because of a bumper sticker I may display.
Of course I see the absurdity in worrying about what other people think or assume. Assumptions will be made no matter what. Refusing to display a bumper sticker isn't going to change that fact. It's my own neurosis rearing its mighty head once again.
The correlation with dedication is my own reluctance to be "involved" in things. Going even deeper, I worry that perhaps I'm afraid to invest myself too much...to open myself up to something outside my personal sanctuary. I'm not sure where or why, though. It certainly hasn't always been like this.
Involvement is a comfort. Fervent devotion to something larger than yourself, no matter the forum--religious, sporting, or political--is reassuring. We sense our own inadequacy, which is why we derive a sense of worth by putting so much into things we see as larger than ourselves.
Though I doubt I'll be slapping any bumper stickers on Golden Boy any time soon, I'm slowly figuring out how to allow myself to be involved. I'm slowly learning how to differentiate between things of consequence and those that are petty and inconsequential, particularly those good for nothing self-conscious thoughts. Like the Red-headed Stranger said, "watch those thoughts, they'll get you down."
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2 comments:
Do you allow bumper stickers on your nalgene (John Wayne) b/c you are more comfortable with Ultimate crowd's assumptions? They are the only ones to really see it.
My first bumper sticker was a longhorn my freshman year of college to show my excitement about being a part of UT's awesome university. Since then it's gone to Ultimate bumper stickers and local Austin shops like waterloo records and book people. Two other places I support.
Although knowing the Green Dragon has no resell value helps make the decision to slap whatever on it a lot easier. ;-)
-T
I'm not really sure why I'm okay with it there. Perhaps because it isn't as large as a car...? Perhaps I'm more comfortable with them when they are secretly ironic...? I'm not really sure.
That being said, I have nothing against bumper stickers. I'm just weird.
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